Writing Prompt: Day 75

75.jpgDay 75 of 365 Days of Writing Prompts: Your character does something that terrifies them.

Erin: “You better appreciate how much I love you.” My sister rolled her eyes as she sat down next to me at the head table.

“I think you’ll live,” she suggested adjusting her skirt to smooth it under the table.

“I just danced in front of a large group of people. Most of whom I don’t know. Now I am going to give a speech in front of nearly 500 people. Why did you have to invite so many people?”

“Because this is my wedding and this is who I wanted to have here,” she reminded.

“Fair enough,” I obliged. “You don’t even know half of them,” I grumbled under my breath. She chose to ignore me.

The rest of the time between the grand march and my speech was a blur. My entire body froze to stone. “Almost your turn,” my sister’s smile snapped me out of my trance. Then my heart started pulsating. Pressure seemed to be building and I was certain it was going to bust. Explode out of my chest and soak the families in the front row.

Once I had the mic in my hand. I felt like an outsider hoisting me up by placing my own arms under my own armpits and yanking. “I love this girl,” were the only words I could remember. But after I said those words my eyes filled with water and I couldn’t remember that public speaking made me feel like a thousand knives were stabbing me. All I could think about was how happy I was that she was happy, and that I wanted her to know that.

Shannon: I suffer from a phobia of thing that most people have probably feared at least once in their life, but when I hear them say they’re scared I know they’ll eventually get over it. I, on the other hand, don’t know if I’ll ever truly be past this one. I have a fear of rejection: the fear of people telling me no, and more importantly the fear that those people may actually be right.

I try to make myself believe that I won’t get my hopes up, but that’s not who I am. When I want something my mind freaks out on me, and starts dancing around the idea, nearly making it a fact, or at least something that’s bound to happen within time. Then it comes down to the moment of truth, and I can’t bear to feel that weight of the wrong outcome crashing down on me, so I keep it to myself. I act like I never wanted it in the first place. If I never put it out into the universe, never told a single soul, than no one would have to know I failed.

I put up this wall to protect my secret aspirations so that I’m the only one who can crush me, and boy have I done a good job of pressing down hard on myself. I’m so sick of trapping myself in a corner, and pretending that I don’t want things when I do. That’s why I’m about to do something that scares the crap out of me.

I’m going to give away what I’ve been hiding for so long. The things I’ve never said out loud, but have always wanted to. I know it will take baby steps to get them all out, but I can’t keep them wrapped up anymore. I’m going to start with telling my parents that I want to be a writer, even if it never works out. They deserve to know my real dream, and to know that I actually have one, so they can understand I haven’t been completely disinterested in my future this whole time.

As the right moment arises I know blood will pump through my veins even faster, and my upper body will heat up. I just don’t know what they’ll say. And for the first time ever, it doesn’t matter.

Scare your character, maybe you’ll scare yourself with your own ideas.

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